It’s funny how often things are just assumed in life. Like books and movies make love (and making love) look easy. But what if those things don’t come naturally? The hard thing about assumptions is if you ask about them, you become the odd one out.
Sexual health is one of those topics where culturally things are usually assumed, but at the same time it can be “taboo” to discuss things if you’re having issues.
WHAT IF?
So, what if you are having actual issues with intimate topics? And what if it’s causing you pain? That becomes something you can’t just “fake till you make it”. Especially not with someone you’re in a close relationship with. And you shouldn’t have to fake anything. Making sure you’re comfortable with something as basic as putting a diva cup or tampon in, all the way to having a healthy sexual relationship is the goal.
A lot of women have trouble in this area, in fact, a few of the top searches on Google are “Why am I tighter than usual?” “Is it normal for your vag to be tight?” or “how to get a tampon out without it hurting”.
WHY IT MATTERS:
This is something that’s close to my heart because it’s something I had to work through in my own relationship with my wife. It was something that was painful to her, both emotionally and physically and we had to search and search for answers until we found something that worked. (You can read more of our story here). Which is another factor people struggle with. Since something like this is hard to talk about, you can’t usually just call someone up, and, after a five-minute conversation, have a simple solution. Plus, Google brings up so many different results that it’s hard to even know where to start looking.
You’ll see diagnostic terms like “Vaginismus”, “Vulvodynia” & “Vulvar Vestibulitis Syndrome”. Which can all sound like scary medical words that have to do with some incurable condition. But I can assure you, having worked through this, it’s curable.
WHAT IT ACTUALLY MEANS:
All these big words have to do with mostly the same thing: Pain when it comes to your vulva and vagina, especially when it comes to any sort of penetration. (Tampon, diva cup & any sort of penetration during sex.) You can check out an article with the definitions here.
Now, you may be wondering, if we know there’s a cure, can we pinpoint a cause for it? However, when it comes to your sexuality it’s not just tied to the physical. Your emotions have a big impact on how things work in a relationship, especially your sexual relationship. So this can be caused by any number of things: Physical trauma, emotional trauma or even normal life events like childbirth or menopause. And the article touches on this as well, stating ‘Women sometimes develop secondary vaginismus after childbirth, or after traumatic (physical or sexual) abuse. This makes emotional therapy just as important as physical therapy. The good news is, vaginismus and its cousins are considered some of the most successfully treatable female sexual disorders.’
THE SOLUTION:
Well, now that we’ve established that this isn’t uncommon or uncurable, what’s the next step?
I have some good news: You may feel like the problem, but you’re also the solution.
And that’s what we’re here to help you figure out. This is not some lifelong condition. Many people (including us!) have worked through this and come out stronger on the other side.
You may have seen some crazy search results, but the good news is that the solutions to them are simple.
You don’t need to buy some special cream or tool or try to find a doctor who will recommend something for you to try.
To make things comfortable and respect the intimacy of this topic, we do a free strategy call that you’re able to do online, which you can easily do from home or wherever and whenever works for you.
No more random, unhelpful Google searches. Or you trying to find answers in an awkward conversation with a friend or family member.
Click the link to talk to someone from the comfort of your own home.
You can do it easily over Zoom from the privacy of your house. Click here to start your journey.
Still on the fence? Check out all these stories of people who experienced the same thing and are now living in freedom.