Sex isn’t always the easy, passionate and loving moment that Hollywood makes it out to be. But what do you do if things aren’t “working out in the bedroom”?
Have you ever tried to search for something like “Why won’t things fit like they’re supposed to during sex?” Or “Why Am I having difficulty fitting in her?” or even “Is sex supposed to hurt?”
YOU’RE NOT BROKEN:
First, know this: You’re not the first couple to struggle with something like this in your relationship, and you’re most likely not the last. And the good news is, it’s probably fixable.
There are actually quite a few reasons this could be happening. It could simply be a bad 1st experience. If you didn’t have someone in your life to set you up well psychologically and physically for a sexual relationship, it can be hard to just “pick up something” that our culture mistakenly presents everyone as being good at.
- Or it could just be that you and your partner haven’t really taken the time to explore what works for you. Communication in sex goes way beyond the simple words you say.
- Or, in hopefully rare cases it could be something physical; in which case a doctor’s appointment can usually go a long way in providing the answers you need.
BUT WHAT IF IT’S “ALL IN YOUR HEAD?”
What if you as a woman have been examined and your doctor says nothing is wrong with you? Or what if you went in to get examined and were dismissed as crazy, with people telling you “It’s just all in your head.”
Well, you’re not crazy. And while there’s some long sounding words out there to define it, they’re not as difficult as they sound. The two main terms are Dyspareunia and Vaginismus. And, to put it simply, they’re both related to painful sex.
Dyspareunia is just the general term and may even relate to something physical, (for example: a cyst.)
Vaginismus may sound like some weird disease but really, it’s just a term for “my vagina tightens without me trying and it hurts if I need to put anything in there”. And you’re not crazy if you’ve experienced this, quite a few women go through this for a variety of reasons. Some women, like we’ve talked about above have never had the education and the willingness in their partner to truly understand penetrative sex; and the pleasure it’s meant to bring both partners.
But some women had no trouble until they experienced something life-changing like menopause or childbirth. Or sadly, in some cases something traumatic like abuse.
And if you’re a man looking to help the woman you love, how do you make sure they’re loved and able to heal from all of this?
WHO TO TALK TO:
But how do you find help for this? We’ve established this is connected to the emotions and experiences you associate with sex, which isn’t just something your doctor can perform surgery on. And your average friend or family member may not be able to give you the answers you need.
But if you’re here it means you’re looking in right direction.
THIS IS NOT SOME “LIFELONG” CONDITION:
Know this: there may be some crazy search results, but the good news is that the solutions to them are simple.
You don’t need to buy some special cream or tool or even hope you can find a doctor who will recommend something.
GOOD NEWS:
Here’s the good news in the midst of all of this: This is something many people have worked through, coming out the other side with stronger and healthier relationships (and we don’t mean just sexually).
We’re here to tell you the good news: We got through this, and you can too.
Check out all these stories of people who experienced the same thing and are now living in freedom.
Remember when mentioned how hard it can be to talk to someone who really “gets it”? Well, what if you could talk to someone who had personally experienced this in their own relationship? Someone who wouldn’t dismiss anything as “all in your head” but rather someone who would listen. Well, the cool thing is, with this free strategy session you can book with just a click here .you’ll be talking to someone who has personally experienced this and has now made it their life mission to bring that same freedom to other relationships.
I know how hard it is to work through something like this in a relationship, you can check out my story and why I do what I do here.
No more random, unhelpful Google searches. Or you trying to find answers in an awkward conversation with a friend or family member.
Click the link to talk to someone from the comfort of your own home. We have a FREE strategy session that you can do easily over Zoom from the privacy of your house. Click here to start your journey.