Pain During Sex
You may be experiencing pain when you’re having sex and now you’re searching for answers. . . but how do you know what it’s tied to or where it’s coming from?
Some of the top Google Searches for women experiencing pain during sex are things like ‘why doesn’t penetration feel good’, ‘why does it hurt to insert a tampon’ ‘why does my body hurt after sex’
So how do you know specifically what’s causing you pain? Here are some medical (and emotional) reasons why:
TOP FIVE MEDICAL REASONS:
We’ll start with some more general terms and then move onto more more specific things:
Dyspareunia (as defined by The National Library of Medicine): ‘Painful sexual intercourse is a common female health problem.[1] In medical terminology, it is called dyspareunia.’ This is a more general term for pain during sex, though you can find a more detailed definition here.
Pelvic Floor Dysfunction: This also is more general, since it has to do with a group of muscles in and around your vagina. Cleveland Clinic says ‘The pelvic floor muscles are the home’s foundation. These muscles act as the support structure keeping everything in place within your body.’ Pregnancy, something traumatic like a car accident or even overusing your muscles can impact your pelvic floor. Symptoms are feeling the need to go to the bathroom constantly, constipation, feeling pain in your lower back or ongoing pain in your genitals or rectum.
Vaginismus: This is more specific, directly having to do with the vagina. This is defined as an involuntary muscle spasm that happens when something is inserted into the vagina. It can be as simple as a tampon or it can happen during sex. It usually causes pain and discomfort, and can deeply impact your sexual health.
This specifically is what my wife struggled with, and was something I learned a lot about through that process.
Imperforate Hymen: This is a rarer condition, it’s usually something you’re born with, but sometimes it isn’t figured out until a girl has her first period. It says here: ‘In the case of an imperforate hymen, a membrane extends all the way across the area of the hymen, blocking the vaginal opening. It is easily corrected through a minor surgery.’ Thankfully once this is diagnosed this can be easily fixed.
Posterier Fourchette: is a little fold of skin at the bottom of your vagina. It’s meant to expand along with your vagina during sex, but childbirth and menopause can cause tearing or inflammation, leading to pain and dryness during sex or gynecological exams.
Now, that was a lot of information, but hopefully it shone some light on what you may be experiencing. Me and my wife worked through the above, and I have every hope we can help you do the same.
I don’t believe that these emotions need to take a lifelong mental toll. Sexual health is an important part of life, and I believe everyone deserves to have loving healthy experiences.
Our relationship is much better today, but we wouldn’t have been able to see that happen if we had given up hope. (You can read our more detailed story here.
DO THESE MATCH?
So how do you know you’re struggling with Vaginismus or some other sexual roadblock (physically or mentally?)
We’ll go over some of the common triggers down below, but I recommend getting personalized care. Whether it’s a call with someone like me who specializes in this field, or just setting up an appointment with your doctor to see if they can help bring clarity to what you may be experiencing. Reaching out is the first step on your healing journey.
Now let’s go over some reasons you may be experiencing these things.
A few common triggers for these symptoms are:
- A bad experience the first time you had sex
- Anxiety (during sex or in general)
- Fear of performance during sex
- Not feeling comfortable or ready with your partner
- A painful childbirth experience
- Early exposure to various forms of pornography
- Religious reasons and beliefs around sex
- Family pressure from parents
Because a lot of these have their roots in the emotional and the physical, it can be easy to second guess yourself. But going through everything I did with my wife taught me the how deeply the emotional impacts the physical.
Still have questions about these symptoms? That’s fair, every person experiences things differently. Which is why I believe in personalizing care to each individual, and why I start off with a free consultation.
WHOSE FAULT?
Having read through most of this now, you may be wondering, “Is it something I did? And if it’s emotionally based, is it my fault for not controlling my emotions better?”
That’s an unhealthy path to take. Sex is such a complicated topic precisely because it covers not just a physical sensation but all the emotions that come with relationships. And can you really be blamed simply because you had a bad human experience?
Blaming someone doesn’t usually help. In fact, it usually leads to avoidance, which might seem like a short-term solution, but is a terrible long-term one.
Know this: the very thing you think may cause separation (physically or emotionally) in your relationship may actually be the thing that draws you together. Involving your partner in the healing process may bring a level of intimacy into your relationship that you didn’t have before. I know it did for me and my wife.
PRACTICAL NEXT STEPS:
Hopefully you better understand what you may be dealing with and some things you can start moving forward. And now we can start your healing journey.
My goal is to help people like you achieve freedom like my wife was able to. I believe that all relationships should be pain-free, both physically and mentally. And I believe every couple deserves to have a healthy, intimate relationship with their loved one.
You don’t need to spend money trying out different remedies, I offer a free, online strategy call so we can get to the root of the issue and so I can offer care that’s personalized specifically to you. It’s free, flexible and private: https://advancedvaginismustherapy.com/bookings/
Still wondering? Check out our clients stories on their newfound freedom: https://advancedvaginismustherapy.com/stories/
Don’t waste time sifting through Google articles, trying to come up with a reasonable diagnosis and solution. Click the link to talk to someone from the comfort of your own home: https://advancedvaginismustherapy.com/bookings/