Wondering what on earth memories have to do with your pelvis? Let’s talk about it.
Our bodies are amazing, but a strength in one area can be a weakness in another area. We know everybody responds differently to things like trauma and abuse, and for some people, it can manifest strongly in not emotionally, but physically as well.
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WHY DOES THE BODY HOLD MEMORIES?
When you go through something traumatic, (whether that’s an event like a car accident or a relationship that brings trauma), it’s not just your brain that remembers things. Since your brain and your body are intricately connected, if you aren’t able to properly heal from the trauma, your body may react strongly in situations that feel familiar in a bad way. It’s your bodies way of trying to process and try to protect you.
Lots of people who have suffered cases of abuse in childhood especially struggle with this, since children can’t process their experiences in the same way adults can. You also see similar behavior in those diagnosed with PTSD.
So how does this affect your sexual health? Well, in one study of adult women, it was found that sexual, physical and psychological abuse was linked to a four to six-fold increased risk of genital pain in adulthood (Harlow & Stewart, 2005). And a couple of specific areas that we see this are in Pelvic Floor Dysfunction and Vaginismus.
Pelvic Floor Dysfunction:
Beaumont Health says ‘Pelvic floor dysfunction occurs when there is either too much tension on the pelvic floor muscles (high tone) or not enough (low tone) contributing to urinary incontinence, constipation, pain during intercourse or pain in the lower back, pelvic region, genitals or rectum.’ Pregnancy, something traumatic like a car accident or even overusing your muscles can impact your pelvic floor. Common symptoms are feeling the need to go to the bathroom constantly, constipation, feeling pain in your lower back and/or ongoing pain in your genitals + rectum area.
Vaginismus:
This is more specific, directly having to do with the vagina. This is defined as an involuntary muscle spasm that happens when something is inserted into the vagina. It could be during a routine exam, during sex or even something as simple as a tampon insertion.
This specifically is what my wife struggled with, and is something I now strive to help others work through and overcome.
Now, that was a lot of information, but hopefully it better illuminated what you’re going through. Me and my wife worked through the above, and I have every hope we can help you do the same.
Our relationship is much better today, but we wouldn’t have been able to see that happen if we hadn’t dealt with this. (You can read a more detailed version of our story here.)
HOW DO I FIX IT?
Now we’ll go over some of the common triggers down below, but the first thing I recommend is getting a personalized care plan.
Whether it’s a call with someone like me who specializes in this field, or just setting up an appointment with your doctor to see if they can help pinpoint what you may be experiencing. Reaching out is the first step on your healing journey.
Now let’s go over some reasons you may be experiencing these things.
A few common triggers for these symptoms are:
- Childhood trauma
- An accident that caused muscle damage
- A bad experience the first time you had sex
- Anxiety (during sex or in general)
- Performance anxiety during sex
- Not feeling comfortable or ready with your partner
- A painful childbirth experience
- Early exposure to various forms of pornography
Now most of these strongly impact the physical and emotional. Which is where I believe a holistic treatment approach works best.
Still have questions about these symptoms? I believe every person experiences things differently. Which is why I personalize care to each individual, and start off with a free consultation.
WHAT’S THE ROOT CAUSE?
Now, having read a lot of this you may be starting to feel confused, “if it’s emotionally based, then is it my fault for not controlling my emotions better?”
I can say with confidence NO. This world can be a crazy place, and you shouldn’t be blamed one bit for pain that was inflicted on you, whether that was mental damage or a mix of emotional and physical pain. Our bodies respond in the best way they know how, and it can get really tricky when your body is overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to heal properly from traumatic things. (Which, I don’t believe any of us were made to live in a constant state of trauma or pain.)
However, let me encourage you: The thing that could’ve pushed my wife and me away from each other became the very thing that drew us closer together. So the thing you thought would separate you, may be the thing that draws you together.
Involving your partner in the healing process brings a level of intimacy into your relationship that you didn’t have before. I know it did for me and my wife.
NEXT STEPS:
Well, I’m glad you stuck around to the end, and I hope that reading the above brought some hope and clarity to whatever situation you’re experiencing.
After having worked through something similar with my wife, it’s become a life mission of mine to see other couples achieve freedom and health in the same area that we did.
You don’t need to spend time and effort researching different remedies. I offer a free, online strategy call so we can get to the root of the issue and so I can offer care that’s personalized to your needs.
It’s free, flexible and private: https://advancedvaginismustherapy.com/bookings/
Still wondering? Check out our clients stories on their newfound freedom: https://advancedvaginismustherapy.com/stories/
Don’t waste time sifting through Google articles, trying to come up with an at-home diagnosis and solution. Click the link to talk to someone from the comfort of your own home: https://advancedvaginismustherapy.com/bookings/